1. Biker Chic means Black lycra, not leather and an Italian branded pushie -not a Harley.
2. a hot guy/girl cycles past and you check out the bicycle first.
3.You have more money invested in bike clothing than the rest of the stuff in your wardrobe.
4.You can't buy any more furniture because all spare space is taken up by your bikes.
5.You find your BIking shoes more comfy and stylish than your other shoes.
6.There seems to be nothing odd about discussing the connection between hydration and urine colour.
7.You buy crutches instead of renting.
8.You have stopped even trying to explain to your spouse why you need more bikes....you just buy more all in the same colour and hope they can't differentiate and figure it will all work out in the divorce settlement.
9.You're too tired for hanky-panky at night but crank out a 5 hour, 100km ride the next day.
11.You experience unreasonable jealousy over someone who has more bike bling than you.
12. You no longer need a hankie to blow your nose.
13.Rather than loosing weight -you spend a fortune trying to get your bike lighter by buying Titanium components.
14. You start swerving in your car to avoid potholes and drive home the flattest route.
15. You bikes are worth more than your car.
15 a. (your collection includes ar LEAST one of each of the following: a MTB, a roadie, a single speed of some sort and a fixed gear bike)
16. You sleep with your bikes in the bedroom so they're safe & sound.
17. When you move to a new area or go on holidays -the first thing you find is the Bike Shop.
18.You view crashes as an opportunity to upgrade bike components.
19.You clean your bike more than your car - and worry about polishing the paint off.
20. You spend hours on bicycle related chat sites and bike magazines are your bibles.
21.Your bike has more kms on it's computer than your car has on it's odometre.
22. You don't get embarrassed about wearing tight lycra pants just above the knee everywhere and anywhere, anymore.
23. Your suntan lines shout "cyclist".
24. Getting to work by 9am is just too hard but meeting your buddies at 5am for a hammerfest isn't a problem.
25.Inter-gender discussion of genital pain and what creams to put down there is normal.
26. Someone has a crash and your first question is "Was the bike OK?".
27. You hear someone has a crash, find out if the bike's OK and then ask if you can borrow it while they're slung up in traction for 6 weeks.
28. You have an anthology of scars collected at all the great riding sites - and can reel off which scar is from which track or trail.
29. Your local medical centre stocks all your favourite X-large wound dressings, knows what thread you prefer for stitching and expects you in late, Sunday afternoons......
30. You pick races & events and train religiously for them - putting family, pets, house etc as last priority.
31. While doing the race/event you ask yourself while enduring the extreme pain "WHY am I doing this?" and promise yourself you'll NEVER do another INSANE race again. 1 hour after finishing you're figuring out how much time you can take off your PB next year and and getting entry forms for more events.
32. Even after 3 courses at a restaurant you come home and have to eat more.
33. You spend hours making homemade energy bars and gels -perfecting the ultimate fuel.
34. Your drink of choice is raspberry electrolyte.
35. You have a cupboard full of vitamin supplements & "natural" energy enhancer/performance drugs of which you take so many if you jumped up and down you'd rattle.
36.Coffee is your "Fuel" and reward after punishing Hammerfests with your training buddies.
37. When your training buddy has a bike crash and is in hospital, you take cycling magazines in for them to read and email thru orders for bike parts they need for when they're back on the road..
38. True addicts will wear Apres Velo -after cycle wear -so the world will know and understand all the strange behaviours listed above.
39. If you're in hospital you wear your Apres Velo tee shirts so people KNOW why you're in hospital. (Good on ya Stu!)
40. When you visit your cycling friends in hospital -you wear Apres Velo gear too. Or cycle to the hospital and visit in full cycle kit. Or get the whole team to visit for a team meeting, taking coffee, electrolyte & food bars and discuss no 6 (colour of urine/dehydration etc because of bed pan).
41. You won't let the ambulance paramedics cut your bike pants off -despite the injuries below - 'cause they just saved your life.
I just had to delete some....the list was getting too long. Will work on my obsession list as my friends give me more ammunition.
Just gotta go plan my ride for tomorrow morning. Hills are my friends......:)
Here's some more tips on knowing you're a bike addict from my friend Paul (SERIOUSlY afflicted addict) and i'm not saying any of this is BAD....it's just recognising the behaviour. Paul does these 6 hour MTB race on his single speed and whips all our asses.
He has a bike made in each and every sort of metal, fibre or plant you can think of and can tell you the pros and cons of each sort.
x) When riding/driving with bike buddies you play "guess the bike".
x) When seeing a tyre tread pattern on the track you know the brand of tyre and the direction of travel. (really sick)
x) You know you are a bike addict when the on-line shop enquires into your health if you haven't purchased something in a month.
x) You forget your anniversary, but can rattle off the dates of the 5 "must do' races in the coming year.
x) You're a bike addict when you put in hundreds of hours training for a 6 hour race where the best you can hope to place is 20th in your age group.
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