Apres Velo Blog

I'm ranked pretty high up in the MTB world of unexplained, unintentional & unbelievable falls -so many would ask WHY?
I did this course so that i wouldn't hurt myself so badly. Hopefully....

Huw Kingston's company Wild Horizons runs skills courses down at Bundanoooon in the Southern Highlands. Len did an Intermediate course and shed some blood a few weeks before i did my Advanced course on the Sunday.

Some Nobmob and OTB friends met me on the Saturday at YOBS for a pre-ride Caffeine before winging it down to Wingello.
My training buddy Stu and i had hoped to cover 70-100kms of the Fling course which we'd downloaded on his Garmin and i had the physical map. We started as a group of 6 which dwindled rather scarily as the day heated up: we lost one from tiredness, then lost another -Hans - whom we found by backtracking, had had a crash on a lethal waterbar, then the youngest member Benji, only 12 and Hans' son was entrusted to us -we wore him out and took him back to his dad, a sad silent shell of his former self.....

Then there were 3.

Stu, Nick and I. It got hot. we got tired. The hills got nasty. And nastier. As a group we stopped and had a Panadol and sour snake moment together -it saved our friendship. The snarkiness retreated and good humour returned. Eventually we got back to our car after only 60kms and no-one wanted to venture any further. There was a lot of the Fling course we hadn't covered and i was scared. I have done the 100kms Dirtworks which is the furthest MTB race i have done and it took me 6:45. What was another 12 kms of these horrendous hills going to do to me? (scary music in background)

I stayed the night at the glamorous Bundanoon Hotel and was up early the next morning with Hans and Benji, superexcited to head out to Fitzroy Falls to do some.....well what else would you do at Ftitzroy except fall?

Paul Traynor (Berry Cycles) and John Hardwick were our over qualified instructors and a nicer, more patient and knowledgable pair you could not get. They were such good teachers.

They had set up obstacles in a paddock of Goat poo which was meant as incentive NOT to crash. Did i show them a thing or two?!
By midday my eyes were watering from the odour of me: sweaty and covered in a layer of rubbed and rolled in shit. I had a massive bruise on my thigh from a mis judged mono and rear bunny hop. My arms and hands were tight and stiff for a week after from pushing and pulling my front forks (completley forked is what it's called, i think?) .

I wish i'd filmed some of it -it was great fun to see so many grown ups flipping, falling, slipping and giggling. 12 year old Benji was brilliant and he showed us how all of the skills SHOULD have been done. He is a genius on a bike. Then he set up the cones for us to do our tight turning drills through a big dung heap -he would slide thru it effortlessly -we adults would slip and fall in it.

A scrumptious lunch with copious amounts of delicious cakes, fruit and sandwiches made by Ye Olde Bike Shoppe was followed by a ride thru private single track to learn high speed cornering (in my case: slow speed re-enactment of what i thought they said to do whilst fast cornering) and some great fun boardwalks. I loved this course an learned so much from it and recommend it to everyone.
The instructors make it so that everyone was challenged no matter the skill level.

We were exhausted by the end of the day and luckily for Hans and Benji who drove me home -i changed into clean clothes and closed my stinking, odourous, fecal-ingrained cycle gear into a suction sealed bag.

1st & 2nd pair of socks.

43 degrees in the shade of tarpaulins strung between the prickly bushes of Ourimbah State Forrest. Angry Ants the size small Chiouaoua's. Free coffee. Dust. Jagged Rocks. Kms of single track twisting through the trees. Mountain Bike Nirvana, Aussie style. This is a team race and my team Mate Bernd is already looking forward to his beer at the end of 8/14 hours.

I start.

Steep hill to sort us out and straight into the single track -i haven't ridden here and have only been warned to take the Chicken run when i see the option on a sign. Otherwise they said, Shut my eyes,no brakes and hang on for dear life. I find the Chicken run which is a dusty slippery rut down a steep hill -i look up and see a vertical drop of a few metres and riders crashed below. NO way am i gonna try that one -i value my body in one piece.First lap done and everyone comments on my beetroot red face and Bernd is on his way.

My 2nd lap I'm doing great and enjoying it -a banked right hand turn and i see a rider sprawled -i jump off, get his bike off the track and help him sit down. His nose is kinda smashed and bloody. His wrist may be broken. i yell, has anyone got a phone a few times -no-one has. Another rider stops with bandages to help. i stay for a while and then say i'll go get help. I ride off and panicked, take a rock at the wrong angle -oooowww, my shin is bleeding and blood is dribbling into my shoe.

I finish this lap and tell the Ambos where to find the Burnt Forrest victim. They clean my leg up and bandage it. 3rd lap is good, cannot believe when i see ANOTHER rider sprawled out at the exact same spot -she's off the track, i ask whether she's ok, a nod, and i ask whether she wants me to get help, yep.

Again, tell St. John Ambo's where to find fallen rider. My leg is bleeding and the bandages are soaked thru and leaking out -they tell me after having another look i should go to hospital and get it checked. Bernd has finished his 3rd lap and i'm ready to go again, he is exhausted and i ask him if he really wants to keep going -he's finding his concentration lapsing in the heat -me too -and i'm starting to get throbbing pain in my leg. We're not close to a podium finish because of my slow 2nd lap time. We decide to call it a day as it's not going to get us any prizes and more laps means more chances of accidents.

Hornsby hospital: a mountain biker nurse looks after me -then it's a tetanus shot and 3 stitches. we walk out a couple of hours later and it's after 6pm and still 40 degrees hot. I drive home with the bike in the back seat wondering if i hadn't stopped to help whether i would have had this accident?

You have to stop though, don't you? Shouldn't you? YOU can't ride on past - like so many people did.....? When i've had accidents i have been flabbergasted at the amount of people who have ridden past and not even asked whether i needed help...covered in blood.

CrashTestMummy

(needs First Aid company to sponsor her) 

Best photo of me ever taken. Not normally so photogenic.

Great race (in hindsight) and perfect weather on the day. Mountain Bikers are SO nice -my chain came off and a girl jumped off her bike and helped put my chain back on -incredibly nice and thoughtful. I kept riding with her until we got to a big climb.

I had 3 falls in this race -always after i'd negotiated successfully thru a hard part -and i'd just fall off for old times sake. It's a talent i have - when a man started laughing as i fell at the top of a tough climb and asked me HOW the hell did i do that? I don't know, i'm just so  good at it. Stick to what you're good at is good advice.

The residents of Bundanoon & Wild Horizons crew put on a wonderful event.

Thank you.

CrashTestMummy
(only bruises in this one)